This is a 4 part series on tips and tools to get your creative timing on its most advantageous track.
Here is the fourth and last installment in this series on Timing Is Everything – Tips & Tools for Getting Timing Right.
Tip#3
90-Day Wonders or The 3 Moon Rule
I learned this tip from a therapist friend years ago when I was in my early twenties. It is one of those tips that really should be a rule for measurement in everyone’s arsenal as it clears the way for the great relationships, jobs and projects to come forward. With this rule I have learned to identify relationships that will work for me and my path and those that are treacherous ground.
It was explained to me this way: Everyone has a story. When you meet someone you must allow time for the real story to come forward because many of us attempt to hide the truth from each other and sometimes we just don’t want to see the truth or we just aren't hearing it. It becomes difficult the longer you know someone for that someone or you to keep up a façade or to hide the real truth from each other. In 3, 30-day cycles the truth almost always is revealed. The relationships that don't make it past 90 days are called "90 Day Wonders."
I have taken a few liberties garnered from life experience to make this rule. The question is, are you willing to see the truth? Is this relationship worth the effort? Is this relationship feeding truth?
When To Use This Rule
This rule is one that tends to linger in the background anytime you meet someone and begin to forge some kind of a connection. It doesn’t have to be a love connection. It can simply be a work connection or social connection as well.
Use this rule when:
- Someone wants or demands a commitment of some kind in an unreasonable amount of time
- You find yourself committing to someone or something without a lot of thinking or planning behind it
- It's too good to be true
- Someone takes the reins right out of your hands
- You feel shamed or manipulated into a relationship
How To Use This Rule
Look for the other person's response when implementing this rule. It is a giveaway as to how they operate and what their needs are. Note when things start to shift, get pushy or out of hand, by using a calendar and making notes about time frame--this is how you track the 90 day time span. Many of these relationships will end in 30 to 60 days. Do they need to know you are doing this? No.
- Use a calendar to mark the points in the relationship. Note in particular the date of meeting so you can time the process.
- Look for signs of violence, manipulation, lying, or betrayal and mark these on the calendar
- Don't be afraid of confronting the other person when they get pushy. Back them off with "this is moving way too fast" and note their response. An accusatory, violent or manipulative response is a sure sign to get out immediately.
- Ask for an objective third party to help you identify what is going on.
Pitfalls and Challenges
- Not all relationships will fit the 90-day rule. There are always exceptions but before you decide to throw out the 90-day rule, get some objective opinions from a third party.
- Just because you meet people through friends, church or other organizations you feel comfortable with, that doesn’t mean you should disregard this rule.
- Learning to trust your instincts takes time and practice. Most of us have been taught to push down, ignore, or ridicule our own feelings and responses so allow yourself time to learn about you through this rule.
- Not every relationship will require you to use this rule. Some just work from day one with no anxiety or trust issues.
The Reward of the 90-Day Rule
Using the 90-day rule can give you insight into the possible issues and rough spots of a relationship. It enables you to identify the issues in a relationship that you just cannot live with and those that you can learn to deal with. It can alert you to trouble.
The first 90 days of a relationship are arguably the most important as they can give you a very clear idea of what is in store. Open discussion between the 2 players can solidify a strong connection or put things into an intelligent perspective.
The plain truth about anything is that if it is suppose to happen it will. Forcing a relationship to work through manipulation or misdirected feelings is a path to disaster. Give yourself the room and time frame to allow this truth to come forward by using the 3-day rule, the 30-day rule and the 90-day rule whenever you feel stifled, crushed or atypically euphoric.
Staying objective is the real trick and these rules can help you master objectivity.
Here's a link to:
Part 1 - Timing Is Everything, Tips & Tools To Get Timing Right
Part 2 - The 3-Day Rule
Part 3 - The 30-Day Rule
If you are a fellow blogger I will put a link at the bottom of any article you respond to from your blog. That means links for you and an incentive to write more posts for your own blog, so get busy! And if you think to, a mention of my post and blog is appreciated. Let me know when your post is up by leaving a comment.
Showing posts with label business skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label business skills. Show all posts
Timing Is Everything - Tips & Tools To Get Timing Right
This is a 4 part series on tips and tools to get your creative timing on its most advantageous track.
In part 1, we start with some ideas about the differences between competitive thinking and creative thinking and will follow up with three posts (parts 2, 3, and 4), each on a different creative timing rule that I have personally followed over the years and highly recommend to my clients.
I came to write this series because of what I was hearing from clients, many of whom tend toward panic and indecision. It occurred to me that they were responding to life with competitive thinking when creative thinking would work better for them.
Creative versus Creative
Creative thinkers and creative people can be 2 different animals. We have all heard or read about artists and creative people in general who have a lot of talent but no business sense. And business people who are great organizers and directors but couldn’t put a crayon to paper to draw a map or organize their thoughts to create a brochure. Then there are those who can do both and amaze all of us.
Creative thinkers don’t have to be able to draw, paint, write novels or make music. The business world or the arts can have creative thinkers as it has nothing to do with a physical end product so much as it is about thought.
Competing versus Competitive
Competing does not have to be competitive. Competing should be a way of gauging what you are good at and where you might need improvement and should not be imprinted as a win or lose situation. It should be challenging. Thinking competitively sets competitive thinkers up for a win or lose lifestyle and it should set up creative thinkers for gauging where and when changes may need to happen. Thinking comeptitively reinforces the ideas of not being enough, not being good enough, of not having enough, of having nothing to show for your hard work.
Competitive thinking reinforces the need to build a lifestyle at the ignorance or missteps of others and doing so intentionally. Timing in this scenario is about hostile takeovers and not about the flow of living. There are always people on the top and people on the bottom or people on their way in either direction. Here the purpose is always to gain something over others.
Can you be creative and competitive at the same time? I don’t believe that you can because one negates the other. You can have flashes of each but not at the same time, which is where many of us find ourselves existing.
Creative Timing
In the creative process you visualize what you want and allow it to manifest under its own movement while taking action toward the goal. Creative thinking requires the inclusion of the flow of life, which means the result and process will be advantageous to all those involved, whether they are clients, vendors or the creators.
Maybe you are creating a line of essential oils that will benefit the health of the consumer, or products that relieve pain in a safe manner, or paintings that enhance the power and energy of the viewer or the home they are placed in. You can take this farther – a builder may decide to purchase older properties that are filled with harmful products like asbestos or formaldehyde and rebuild them to be “green” buildings. This is completely different than a company who decides to sell vitamins and to market them as something that they are not. Or selling a vehicle that is not what it is presented as being or any product that is poorly made just to turn a buck – this is competitive thinking.
Creative thinkers look for benefits for everyone and compete. Competitive thinkers look for the benefits for themselves only. Can you see how the timing might be different for each group? One flows on its own and the other embodies fear – I can't trust life because there is never enough so I better grab what I can, now.
Part 2 - The 3-Day Rule
Part 3 - The 30-Day Rule
Part 4 - The 90-Day Rule
In part 1, we start with some ideas about the differences between competitive thinking and creative thinking and will follow up with three posts (parts 2, 3, and 4), each on a different creative timing rule that I have personally followed over the years and highly recommend to my clients.
I came to write this series because of what I was hearing from clients, many of whom tend toward panic and indecision. It occurred to me that they were responding to life with competitive thinking when creative thinking would work better for them.
Creative versus Creative
Creative thinkers and creative people can be 2 different animals. We have all heard or read about artists and creative people in general who have a lot of talent but no business sense. And business people who are great organizers and directors but couldn’t put a crayon to paper to draw a map or organize their thoughts to create a brochure. Then there are those who can do both and amaze all of us.
Creative thinkers don’t have to be able to draw, paint, write novels or make music. The business world or the arts can have creative thinkers as it has nothing to do with a physical end product so much as it is about thought.
Competing versus Competitive
Competing does not have to be competitive. Competing should be a way of gauging what you are good at and where you might need improvement and should not be imprinted as a win or lose situation. It should be challenging. Thinking competitively sets competitive thinkers up for a win or lose lifestyle and it should set up creative thinkers for gauging where and when changes may need to happen. Thinking comeptitively reinforces the ideas of not being enough, not being good enough, of not having enough, of having nothing to show for your hard work.
Competitive thinking reinforces the need to build a lifestyle at the ignorance or missteps of others and doing so intentionally. Timing in this scenario is about hostile takeovers and not about the flow of living. There are always people on the top and people on the bottom or people on their way in either direction. Here the purpose is always to gain something over others.
Can you be creative and competitive at the same time? I don’t believe that you can because one negates the other. You can have flashes of each but not at the same time, which is where many of us find ourselves existing.
Creative Timing
In the creative process you visualize what you want and allow it to manifest under its own movement while taking action toward the goal. Creative thinking requires the inclusion of the flow of life, which means the result and process will be advantageous to all those involved, whether they are clients, vendors or the creators.
Maybe you are creating a line of essential oils that will benefit the health of the consumer, or products that relieve pain in a safe manner, or paintings that enhance the power and energy of the viewer or the home they are placed in. You can take this farther – a builder may decide to purchase older properties that are filled with harmful products like asbestos or formaldehyde and rebuild them to be “green” buildings. This is completely different than a company who decides to sell vitamins and to market them as something that they are not. Or selling a vehicle that is not what it is presented as being or any product that is poorly made just to turn a buck – this is competitive thinking.
Creative thinkers look for benefits for everyone and compete. Competitive thinkers look for the benefits for themselves only. Can you see how the timing might be different for each group? One flows on its own and the other embodies fear – I can't trust life because there is never enough so I better grab what I can, now.
Part 2 - The 3-Day Rule
Part 3 - The 30-Day Rule
Part 4 - The 90-Day Rule
Sharpen Your Abundance Skills
Here are a few tips and tricks to develop some of the skills you need for manifesting abundance:
1. Use affirmations in a wise and smart manner.
Creating an affirmation doesn’t sound too difficult to do but using words to support abundance can be misleading. Affirmations shouldn’t be paragraphs of information and they shouldn’t require you to stretch your imagination too far to make them so. You should be creating a path of ownership.
Here’s an example: “I have a brand new car” is not as powerful as “Look at my brand new red car.” One states the existence of the car far better than the other.
Here’s another one: “I have the perfect home” is not as powerful as “Look at the pictures of our new home!”
2. See it. Hear it. Taste it. Smell it. Touch it. Know it.
Using our previous example, when you say to yourself “Look at my brand new red car” see the car in your minds eye. See the brand, the make, the details, the perfect color red…see everything about it. Is it parked in your drive way or are you traveling in it and if so where are you going? The image in your mind is key to manifesting so practice visualizing and spend a few minutes every night before falling asleep creating the image in your mind.
3. Repetition is key. Repetition is key. Repetition is key.
Repeat an affirmation until you are completely convinced that you have what you want. It’s about ownership and the more you can reinforce your visuals the better. Using the affirmation and the visual image is an important weapon in fighting thinking that can take you down an opposing path. So use it when an opposing thought pops into your head.
Example: You are driving home in traffic, really snarly, bad traffic and you are getting yourself so worked up and frustrated that your thoughts are careening out of control and toward the desire to scream, yell and strangle someone. STOP! Shift your weight in your seat, smile and start seeing that brand new home you are now living in. See how peaceful and wonderful it is to hang out there, “Look at the pictures of our new home!” Makes heading home a much more productive trip, don’t you think?
As you develop your visualization and word skills you will notice shifts in your ability to obtain what you want. If you don’t see results right away, keep at it. Most people give up far too soon and some even accomplish one desire but not the second or third and think they have failed. Not so. It may just take a reassessment and new words to get it moving in the right direction.
If you have been working with an affirmation that does not seem to be working for you, send it to me through the comments and I will rewrite it for you here.
I direct good luck toward your personal goals and hope that you benefit from this information.
1. Use affirmations in a wise and smart manner.
Creating an affirmation doesn’t sound too difficult to do but using words to support abundance can be misleading. Affirmations shouldn’t be paragraphs of information and they shouldn’t require you to stretch your imagination too far to make them so. You should be creating a path of ownership.
Here’s an example: “I have a brand new car” is not as powerful as “Look at my brand new red car.” One states the existence of the car far better than the other.
Here’s another one: “I have the perfect home” is not as powerful as “Look at the pictures of our new home!”
2. See it. Hear it. Taste it. Smell it. Touch it. Know it.
Using our previous example, when you say to yourself “Look at my brand new red car” see the car in your minds eye. See the brand, the make, the details, the perfect color red…see everything about it. Is it parked in your drive way or are you traveling in it and if so where are you going? The image in your mind is key to manifesting so practice visualizing and spend a few minutes every night before falling asleep creating the image in your mind.
3. Repetition is key. Repetition is key. Repetition is key.
Repeat an affirmation until you are completely convinced that you have what you want. It’s about ownership and the more you can reinforce your visuals the better. Using the affirmation and the visual image is an important weapon in fighting thinking that can take you down an opposing path. So use it when an opposing thought pops into your head.
Example: You are driving home in traffic, really snarly, bad traffic and you are getting yourself so worked up and frustrated that your thoughts are careening out of control and toward the desire to scream, yell and strangle someone. STOP! Shift your weight in your seat, smile and start seeing that brand new home you are now living in. See how peaceful and wonderful it is to hang out there, “Look at the pictures of our new home!” Makes heading home a much more productive trip, don’t you think?
As you develop your visualization and word skills you will notice shifts in your ability to obtain what you want. If you don’t see results right away, keep at it. Most people give up far too soon and some even accomplish one desire but not the second or third and think they have failed. Not so. It may just take a reassessment and new words to get it moving in the right direction.
If you have been working with an affirmation that does not seem to be working for you, send it to me through the comments and I will rewrite it for you here.
I direct good luck toward your personal goals and hope that you benefit from this information.
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