Here we are at part 2 of this 4 part series. In part one we discussed the differences between competitive thinking and creative thinking. The reason I began the series with this information is because these tips are for creative thinkers. A competitive thinker isn’t going to be able to use these tips in most cases if at all. These timing tips require the "feeling" side of thinking and the time frame needed to let the next move float to the top and be recognized. Remember creative timing has its own rhythm. This rhythm cannot be timed the same way you would your daily walk or workout.
Timing Tip #1
I call this the “3-day” rule and I first discovered it when a friend of mine revealed she used this one to stay on top of her manipulative spouse. See, he was a competitive thinker and he could get way out of control especially with money and credit cards. His main ammo was “Gotta have it now before the sale price ends” but he also liked using “I can’t complete this project without it.” And his favorite items were electronics (especially computers), software, gadgets and top of the line bar-b-que grills.
When To Use It
Use the 3-day rule when an immediate answer is demanded (demanding is never a good sign if you are a reasonable person and the other person knows this) and always when something doesn’t feel right to you. Simply say that you need some time to give a response and that you will give them an answer in 3 days time. Back them off with a time and date if you must, usually a response of “by the end of the day on Thursday” will do it.
Now I don’t suggest using this with your boss or when creditors call or the police or court system knock at your door or you get stopped at the airport because you have an oversized bottle of shampoo in your carry-on luggage. It is probably best to comply immediately in most of those cases.
What To Do With It
Now that you have a span of time to use, here is what to do with it:
1. Start a dialog with your self and identify the pros and cons of the answers you might give.
2. Allow yourself to agree and disagree with each pro and each con.
3. See how you respond and how the answers feel by living with each for a half day or so and decide which ones you can hang your hat on.
4. Allow the answer to come forward and make your final decision after 3 days.
When I do this I have a tendency to talk to myself quite a bit and work through it off and on during the course of the day and evening. I try to stop before bedtime as I find that upon waking the next morning I usually have some level of clarity that I didn’t the night before and I know it is good information because I have had good rest. If I don’t decide to give it up before falling asleep then I stay awake for hours and that just makes me tired and indecisive. Try reading a book or listening to music to distract your thinking before sleep.
Challenges You Will Face
I find that certain aspects of my life are useful in making decisions and certain things that need to be dealt with will rise as well. Here is a list, in no particular order, of what may need further examination when using the 3 day rule.
1. Your priorities.
2. Your self-esteem.
3. Your relationships.
4. Your goals.
5. Your personal issues.
6. Your life purpose.
I guarantee that you will change your mind a dozen times in the course of 3 days. You may not even have an answer until the last possible moment. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Creative living and thinking incorporate trust and faith in your abilities and your responses. There is a knowing about what is right for you and your family and what is not that comes out of all of this. Yes, you will get better at this with practice.
The Magic Is In The Results
The up side of using this method is that you have time to identify how you really feel. We think we know how we feel all of the time, but we really don’t. How often have you said, “I should have responded with … instead of … ?” or you just plain wish you hadn’t agreed or disagreed the way you had.
Using this method you should have a much better idea of what to say to express yourself in a clear manner - often that is all that is needed in order to be better understood.
But the biggest and best benefit of using this timing rule? I find the problem begins to resolve itself by talking it out over the 3 days. More times than I can recall the answer simply is not needed after all the mental work is done or the person you are responding to completely agrees with you.
In Part 3 we will extend the time frame of creative timing to the 30 day rule.
Here's a link to:
Part 1 - Timing Is Everything, Tips & Tools To Get Timing Right
Part 3 - The 30-Day Rule
Part 4 - The 90-Day Rule